How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
