I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
