I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
