They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
