How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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