she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize