I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize