Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize