I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
