DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
