All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize