I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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