Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
