I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
