He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
