i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
