Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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