dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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