I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
