ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
