My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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