No awkward lesbian experiences without me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
