babies were throwing up all over the place
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
