Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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