in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
