Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
