Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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