I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
