I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
