"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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