The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
