With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
