Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
