i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
