Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize