he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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