2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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