I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
