Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
