i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
