So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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