Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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