I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
