covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
