shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
