Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
