The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm at about main and main street
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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