Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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