Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
