You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
