I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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