yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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