Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
