sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
