I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
