nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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