Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I touched a dick in church today
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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