you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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