piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
